Page 2 Jokes About Jamie Moyer

Maybe someday the old lefty Jamie Moyer will actually make the Hall of Fame. Regardless of that ESPN.com Page 2 writer Jim Caple took the time to make up a humorous fake plaque for Moyer in the HoF.
ESPN.com: Page 2 : The Hall of Fame ballad of Jamie Moyer

DJ Gallo jokes about Philadelphia in the AM Jump

I like to read the AM Jump on ESPN.com's Page 2 site. It's quite entertaining as is Page 2 on the whole. DJ Gallo is one of the funniest authors on the site and he is a common author of the AM Jump, available every morning here. As everyone knows the Sixers gave up two of their big veterans this season - Chris Webber and Allen Iverson. Also of note, the Sixers didn't make the playoffs. So just check out the AM Jump from Monday morning.

The Nuggets pulled off the first upset of the day Sunday, taking down the Spurs, 95-89, as Allen Iverson led all scorers with 31 points. And not to overstate the win, but Denver could be a real title contender. I'd love to see Iverson's Nuggets take on Chris Webber's Pistons in the Finals. Philadelphia sports radio would be full of incomprehensible rage and drunken profanities. Even more than it is now.

AM Jump - Monday April 23rd - Page 2

ESPN.com: Page 2 : Pain And Suffering Scale

ESPN.com: Page 2 : 99 years on the wall ...
ESPN.com Page 2 came up with their formula to figure out which sports franchises have gone through the most suffering. The formula is explained in the article, but basically it puts emphasis on the last 25 years of sucking. Teams who have won a championship in the last 25 years don't get factored in.
The #1 team is the Buffalo Bills and that is pretty deserved if you think about it.

Coming in at#3:

3. PHILADELPHIA FLYERS
Last title: 1975 Seasons: 30 Playoffs: 25 Winning seasons: 24 Finals losses: 5 (3)

Legion of doom: Since the Broad Street Bullies won back-to-back titles, the Flyers rank high for consistent excellence playoff appearances (marred only by a five-season playoff-less streak in the early '90s) and frustrating playoff flameouts. They've topped 100 points 15 times with no titles.

Soul-sucking moment: Goalie Pelle Lindbergh's death in a car accident early in the '85-86 season. The season before, he had won the Vezina Trophy and led the Flyers to the Cup finals.

P & S rating: 5.07 (10 Eric Lindroses)

And then coming in at #4:

4. PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
Last title: 1980 Seasons: 26 Playoffs: 3 Winning seasons: 10 Finals losses: 2 (2)

Why the Joe Carter home run wasn't a soul-sucking moment: (1) Given Mitch Williams' postseason performance that season -- 16 baserunners in 8 innings as Carter dug in -- it was entirely predictable something bad would happen to the Phillies; (2) Teams that play with fire don't deserve sympathy; (3) Even if the Phillies had won that game, they still needed to win Game 7.

Why the Joe Carter home was a soul-sucking moment: (1) The Phillies are the only team to lose the clinching game of a World Series on come-from-behind home runs; (2) A dream season ended at the guillotine; (3) Playing with fire clogs your arteries.

Winner: Soul-sucking moment!

P & S rating: 4.69 (nine Mitch Williamses)

And then way down at #32:

32. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES
Last title: 1960 Seasons: 46 Playoffs: 16 Winning seasons: 19 Finals losses: 2 (1)

What's wrong with your rankings?!?!?! Are you morons communists? We haven't won a championship since 1960! We've lost Super Bowls! We lost three straight NFC championships! We suffered through the Marion Campbell era! We drafted Mike Mamula in the first round! Don't you know our pain? Bobby Hoying was our QB one year! We can boo Santa Claus and we sure can boo Page 2 as well!

P & S rating: 2.98 (six Terrell Owenses)

Basically I think it proves that Philadelphia is the city that is going through the most suffering and pain right now. I know all of you would agree.